Back in early 2017, I was living my best life out in sunny California. I was in my thirties, had it mostly together and I was looking forward to becoming a mom. It was that exciting time of planning, putting together baby registry essential items, and feeling elated about everything.
I felt so close to Having it All.
Then on a cold December day at 2 am – my premature, labor-induced son was born.
Motherhood did not come easy. Motherhood was devastatingly hard. I felt alone and overwhelmed. This is not what I expected Having it All to feel like.
Looking back to those early days I realized that the one baby registry essential I really needed was not a new stroller, not a fancy crib, not designer baby clothes, but Time…time to come to terms with motherhood that looked and felt very different than what I had envisioned.
For those of you who haven’t experienced it firsthand, this is what Time looks like when you’re a new mother –
Time loops, shrinks, and stretches when you have a baby. This unique time capsule causes meals to go uneaten, showers to vanish, and the 4 pm hour to last for eternity. Early motherhood time allows for nothing but motherhood.
Knowing this, I would have added this note as a baby registry necessity before my son was born:
“Dear friends and family,
You might think that new parents hang a permanent ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on their doors and cherish unlimited continuous privacy with their newborn, but know that this is what it says on the other side of this sign:
Please do disturb (but text first!), you are welcome, and you are very much needed.”
So when your loved ones ask what is the one baby registry essential you really need, don’t forget to ask for the one thing you know you’ll never again have enough of as a new mother – other people’s time, imported from outside the realm of motherhood.
Not sure how to translate this need for Time into concrete requests on your baby registry? read 3 Essential Baby Registry Services Missing From Your List for some practical ideas.