I recently hosted a last-minute get-together on the front lawn of our house. The problem? I can’t for the life of me manage to host an event and have a presentable house exist simultaneously. First, the mom guilt kicks in. The house is a mess and people are coming over!
The biggest problem? We all know whose’s mess this really is –
MY house is a mess…not my husband’s…not my kid’s. Somehow it’s understood that Presentability is a mother’s burden to bear, alone.
Next comes denial. I, like so many moms before me, tell myself these two lies:
Lie #1 – the house is a mess and I need to hide it.
Lie #2 – It’s absolutely possible to hide it.
If I can just keep everyone from going inside our house, I can keep up the facade that my life resembles this table – always orderly and presentable.
The outside tablecloth is white and clean. The flowers are fresh. The food is abundant. There is enough of everything.
I held on to this lie for a full two hours.
As it got dark we start to break down the tables. Everyone wants to help bring things inside. EVERYONE.
I am torn.
I often preach to accept help when help is offered and not shoulder the burden alone.
On the other hand? They will need to come INTO our house.
I take a deep breath and direct everyone in. They pile things onto the little available horizontal space, say Thank You for a lovely evening, and go on their way.
Now that it’s over I can feel some relief that my full motherhood has been seen, not just the Instagram-worthy parts of it. My house IS a mess but I can stand in the middle of this mess and know that I’m doing my best and that’s enough.
I also feel relieved that our friends now see me and my family for who we really are – good friends, nice hosts, and people who sometimes (or, let’s face it, often) have a messy home.
So my method for hosting when the house is a mess? Taking a leap of faith that myself and other mothers are seen and appreciated for our efforts and our good intentions regardless of our messy homes.
Want to read about how I stay sane and keep my house organized between messes? Check out my piece titled “3 Simple Home Organizing Systems for Lightening Your Mental Load“