Time is by far the most precious commodity in a busy mom’s life. It seems like there is never enough of it and the demand for it is relentless. Our kids need it, our partners, our friends.
With all these demands on our time, I ask myself –
Do modern-day, overworked, and often overwhelmed mothers have time in their week to breath and collect themselves? For many, the answer is no. As it turns out – our time is hiding in some unexpected places.
Our Time is Hiding in Our Traditions
After years of parenting I discovered my first secret stashes of time tucked away in my family’s traditions.
We all have traditions that were passed down in our families, our religions, and our cultures. What many have in common is that mothers are often expected to shoulder the burden of planning, hosting, and cleaning up the aftermath of the events and activities they entail.
In reality? Traditions are blind to maternal burnout, to our mental and physical needs, and to our simple desire to focus our time and energy elsewhere. Could we just say “No, thank you.” and politely decline?
Our family started with a hard one – not celebrating Christmas Day with our extended family. Shopping for everyone was getting to be too much, and knowing that my son would come home with loads of things he didn’t need and wouldn’t appreciate was not part of our current family values.
In our family it was Christmas, for others it might be driving to dinner at the in-laws who live two hours away with a fussy toddler or attending Thanksgiving at the “Everyone is too sensitive and PC nowadays” uncle’s house…again.
Will there be hurt feelings? Absolutely. Will your family pressure you into changing your mind? You can count on it.
While it may still feel awkward to say “No”, there is a reason for this discomfort. Moms opting out or just doing what they need to do for themselves is rarely encouraged or accepted. Let’s teach our family that saying “No” is a valid form of self care.
Our Time is Hiding in Our Circle Of Care
Grandparents who come to watch over our kids once a week. A friend to cook with us while our kids play outside. Someone to stop by with dinner when we’re sick and the fridge is empty. When did these things stop being an integral part of motherhood? It’s been so hard out here without our village.
So how do we rebuild this magical village? We make small investments in our circle of care. The best thing about it? We don’t need much time to achieve it
Here are some of my go-to time investments in my Circle of Care:
- Making an easy kid-friendly dinner? Cook extra and offer some to the family next door.
- Have a recurring family movie night on a Friday? Invite your kids’ friends in advance so their parents can go on an early date night.
- Buying chicken soup for a sick family member? Get extra, freeze, and when the need arises deliver to whoever inevitably gets a cold next.
These ideas might seem obvious or underwhelming. They should be. Small investments in our circle of care are what we have time for and they are good enough
Others will reciprocate if and when they can. When they do, we’ll be there to welcome them with open arms.
Want more ideas for investing in your circle of care? Visit 11 Simple Ways for Moms to Invest in Building Their Village
So let’s say No to traditions that do not support our schedule (and our values) and Yes to investing in our circle of care. By tapping into these unexpected resources we can find more time for ourselves and start creating our village.
Looking for more ways to find time in your busy life? Read Moms Need More Downtime: Top 7 Kid-Friendly Podcasts to the Rescue for a time-saving resource you can utilize today.